Despite the fact that being a “girl dad” is widely celebrated these days, divorcing fathers still find long-held attitudes about mothers being more important for their daughters than fathers rising to the surface as they seek equal parenting time with their children or perhaps more than their co-parent. This can be especially true if the daughter is a preteen or teen.
It’s easy for fathers to believe that maybe their soon-to-be ex should have more time with their daughter, especially if they’re a preteen or teen. They may also not feel comfortable dealing with what are challenging years for any girl – particularly if they don’t have a solid co-parenting relationship. Before you give in to this notion, it’s important to know that father-daughter relationships often suffer more than father-son relationships do when parents divorce.
The role of fathers in their daughters’ self-esteem
Further, fathers can have a significant effect – for better or worse – on their daughters’ sense of self-esteem (especially around their appearance) as they mature into adults. The airbrushed, photoshopped images girls see of other females online and in entertainment can leave anyone feeling unattractive. It doesn’t help that here in LA, cosmetic procedures aren’t uncommon for even young women.
Fathers are typically the first male role model for their daughters. How they see their father treat women – from their mother to the barista at their favorite coffee shop – can influence how they expect to be treated by future boyfriends, colleagues and strangers. Even during a bitter divorce, it’s crucial for fathers not to belittle or disparage their ex in front of their child.
If you believe you have and will continue to model what a good man should be for your daughter (or any child, regardless of gender), it’s worthwhile to seek the custody agreement and parenting plan that’s in your child’s best interests. With sound legal guidance, you can make a strong case.