In recent years, our society has made divorce more acceptable, which has led to much higher divorce rates than in previous generations. However, society’s view on post-divorce life has not received similar treatment. But, we could rethink of divorce as an act of radical self-love and reinforce its positive, healthy benefits.
The post-divorce myths
From the Simpsons to multiple sitcoms and movies, post-divorce life is depicted extremely negatively. The divorced dad living with just a mattress and chair in a dirty, tiny apartment is a common trope. And, for woman, it is not much better. Divorced women, especially mothers, are depicted as ever-struggling financially and alone. For kids, they are tormented by abusive or uncaring stepparents, bullied by new stepsiblings or replaced by the children of subsequent marriages. Indeed, it is no wonder that unhappy couples have a thousand excuses to stay together because they think that is their only and best option.
We cannot divorce, we have kids
Kids are one of the most cited reasons for staying together because we are often told about threats to a child’s wellbeing because of divorce. However, what we often do not think about is the threats to a child’s wellbeing as a result of marriage. Think about it this way, do unhappy marriages produce happy, healthy children? Probably not. After all, resentment grows, which leads to even more negative emotions and strife. That is also for relationships that do not have any emotional or physical abuse. For those marriages, the consequences are graver. This is where the idea of divorce as radical self-love occurs.
Radical self-love and divorce
The idea of divorce as radical self-love came from the idea that we have to love ourselves first before we can have a happy, healthy marriage. In other words, if a couple is better off (happier, freer to pursue their passions, etc.) apart, staying together is the unhealthy option. It is about loving oneself enough to know when it is time to say, enough.
Opting out is an option
For Los Angeles, California, residents in unhappy marriages, opting out with a divorce is an option. It can be the ultimate form of self-love to find one’s bliss, which will make raising happy and healthy children much easier.