Divorce is hard on everyone, but it can be a scary time for kids. They often develop concerns about custody and visitation during a parental divorce and may ask you or your spouse troubling questions.
Many are distraught to learn about the fears and worries their children may have, but anticipating how they react to divorce can help. For example, it can give you time to consider what they might ask and formulate appropriate responses.
Why is this happening?
Honesty is vital to children, but try to avoid getting into adult complexities. In many cases, the impetus behind this question is fear that the child may be responsible for the breakup. Reassure them it is not their fault and remind them of your love for them.
Where will I live?
Living arrangements are a concern for all kids. If specifics are already decided, share them with your children. If things are still in flux, be honest about that, but emphasize your focus on finding the ideal solution for everyone.
Will I still see my other parent?
Unless restricted under court order, assure them they will. Explain that both of you will continue to spend much time with them, just in a different way than usual. If they express additional concerns about seeing their other parent, offer lots of reassurance.
Some children benefit from highly customized child custody and visitation schedules, especially in the early months following the divorce. Knowing what to expect and when to expect it can help them cope with the unavoidable changes divorce may introduce.
Someone familiar with California family law can help you create a custody proposal that satisfies the court and protects your children from psychological distress.